Absurdity Day II

(This is a re-post from last year. I tried to think of something more absurd but couldn’t)

Today is Absurdity Day. Why? Know one knows, but it just is. Maybe we should all get used to it take it all in stride like good existential theater. Or maybe you prefer to run around mouth agape at all the over the top crazies you encounter. For me, I think I’ll try to just stay calm.

Some time ago I had a lovely cuddle date with my awesome friend, Diba. She got a bee in her bonnet that she needed more affection and started to frankly ask for it. “Can I have a hug?” “Do you mind if I hug you?” “Will you put your arm around me I am cold?” Sometimes she also coupled this forthright requesting with a mischievous desire to crack the shells of the shy folk around, or bring the aloof into her arena. It is all fun to watch. Lucky me, I get asked, “Can we have a cuddle date?” Yes absolutely. We plan to lounge, read short stories to each other, massage, hug, chat, snuggle … fantastic. The date was arranged.

At some point that day or maybe before Diba says “Jerry is coming too” She is a community builder by nature and can craft anything into bigger and bigger groups. In this way the little cuddle date turned into a cuddle threeway.

At first we talk about God, the structure of the universe, my distrust and disdain for pretentious new agey mumbo jumbo. Here is have to explain myself, Diba teaches Reiki does different kinds of work in that area, but doesn’t in the slightest trigger my snake oil salesman alarms. But that Aristotelean color coded level chart in The Journey of Souls turned me off. We chat about what we hope for out of various relationships in our lives what is happening with people we know. Then our conversation turns to sex, interesting experiences, how to communicate in bed.

And now I bring you to what I want to share with you on this holiday

D to J: there is this one thing I keep telling you about how to please me better and you never remember it

J scrunches his eyes up a little trying to recall

D: Can you remember it?

J: You know there is a perfectly good reason why I can never remember this

at this point Jerry starts getting animated. Too animated for a prone position on the outside of the bed and leans up

J: You see long long ago all the men would be out hunting together and they would kill a dinosaur and bring it back to the tribe. There would be big celebrations and feasting.

(J gets all the way at the end of the bed and waves his arms around in celebration, chest hair popping out of his unbuttoned shirt in a very caveman like way)

The women had been hungry for a long time and awaiting the men’s return. This would go on for a few days. Then the meat started to get a little rotten and the woman started to be a little dissatisfied. She would start her endless nagging. nahnahnahnahnahnahnah

(J puts hands on hips for nagging woman effect)

So the men quickly plan another hunting party. Happy to be away from the women for a few days they traipse around the jungle. (the hands are animated again)

After a few days the men start to get hungry and hungry for the women’s attention. They are thinking to kill another dinosaur and get back the arms of their people. One man could remember the nagging of his women and just took off – he never had any offspring but the guy who couldn’t remember what his woman said (eyebrows up past normal hairline) he bred.

D: What I told you was that you need to be a little gentle

There are so many issues with that story it is hard to begin. I could go on about hunter gatherer societies and how hunting was less important for sustenance than gathering (except in a few.) I could bring up that it is highly unlikely that man ever hunted dinosaur and more commonly chased buffalo over a cliff and feasted on the wreckage. I could playfully knock J off the bed for making that nagging sound about women with two of them in a bed. I could talk about how most lovers start with what their last lover liked but the better ones adjust and you just proved yourself intractably mired in a certain style. But this like good actors in theater of the absurd should be take as if completely mundane. Or like a good fable give it a nice moral at the end.

Moral: Caveman or not if what you are doing puts a woman’s nails deeply embedded into the popcorn ceiling, back arched like a cat screaming and ready to kick you because it is too intense – it is good to back off a little. A good reminder for all of us.

Enjoy your absurdity day. Let me know how you celebrate…

(This is a re-post from last year. I tried to think of something more absurd but couldn’t)

One Response to “Absurdity Day II”

  1. Hilly Says:

    Well at least the fact that it’s Absurdity Day makes this whole messed up day make more sense. I mean really, it’s been a day full of “WTF?”.

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