Life and Death of my Yahoo Ad
Last year my housemate at the time, quite accidentally saw that her boyfriend had a personal on Match.com. Moreover it could have been titled “Things Rebekah has tuned me on to that I will now use to woo other women.” Because of a tragically non confrontational aspect to her personality, combined with a vicious and all consuming jealousy, she didn’t call him on it for a little over two months and instead obsessed. Needless to say the personals started to have a prominent position in our spectrum of conversation topics. This included looking on all possible personals venues for any 32 year old man from Cambridge to analyze if it was him. Also I was asked what I thought of possible actions like putting up fake profiles to try to catch him. This seemed a wee bit overkill as the name and photo on the already found ad would have been enough for me to know the guy’s mind is heading elsewhere, but there was no getting her to just confront him.
This led to a lot of group time looking at the personals. During a profile search, I saw an ad for someone who was complaining that someone at work would find it and print a multitude of copies for a good joke, Um can you say… Cringe. I also saw all the people in my town that I knew and what they wrote. Isnâ€™t it funny that Ben doesnâ€™t mention that he is a violent alcoholic? Eww yuck, Andy? Sensual?… Gross. And look here is Jody trying to hide that it is him, with a hat and â€œIâ€™ll tell you later on the name.â€ Not fooling me oh man whose name I could never remember but whose phone number is still stuck in my head. We called each other numbers like spies when I was trying to give away a freecycle bed. Then that combo gave me the idea for my ad. This is last March. I put the ad up in good spirit and from the first appointment I made to actually meet someone, met someone I was attracted to, made me laugh, and was instantly, completely smitten. This, I hear, is not the average luck of someone who has invested about nine days in web-based romantic introductions. I had spent the last two years nursing heartbreak and without even one date so I am unapologetic about my good fortune. I left my ad up for a week or two more just because I didn’t want to deprive the world of my most humorous writing so quickly. From there I spent the spring, summer and fall with my spy guy. Went from gleefully happy to a bit dissatisfied which I innocently chocked up to how he was. Making excuses for slights and making efforts to connect.
Now here is where I think the original catalyst for the ad re-manifested itself. Not the fun part of writing the ad but the furtive hurtful element that it stemmed from. This concluded in losing a sizable bet with my friend Jenny about how the log in worked. I didnâ€™t believe her, my boyfriends profile kept saying active in the last 24 hours. I lost the bet but naively, stubbornly wouldnâ€™t let it sink in at first. When I saw that he was adding more pictures I conceded and we quickly broke up. In a spiteful huff, I put my ad up again. For one element, it was nice, Yahoo had just added a â€œwho has viewed meâ€ and I got 217 views the first week. Good for the ego, but it just wasnâ€™t the same fun. This time I met about a dozen people in a very awkward way. None of them had any of the spark of the time before, but I have snatched up a few as friends. I think the motive and spirit for what I have put out there electronically has throughout this whole process delivered back the same thing. Since this time the spirit is cagey and hurt I have been getting my due. Time to put it down.
So I attempted to change my ad to request peopleâ€™s stories for a book I may write but they wouldnâ€™t let me. I suppose it is the delete button then.
Note some of the names or tragic social flaws in this have been changed to protect myself from reprecussion