Archive for October, 2007


Tuesday, October 30th, 2007

I did these when I was in Washington.
This is a what-I-did-on-my-vacation post
Sadness of the Fish Monger

Fight or Flight

I did these on fronts of hard cover art books. These mixed media projects were lovely to do on vacation, with lots of time to cut snip and color. Now at home and pulled in a hundred directions I haven’t made more. Maybe I will have more time soon and give you another book cover


Friday, October 26th, 2007

Click, originally uploaded by c_texiera.

Lake Wyola this morning

Sent from my iPhone

The game “camera”

Friday, October 26th, 2007

The game "camera", originally uploaded by c_texiera.

My friend Theresa taught me a funny little game where you cover someone’s eyes or have them close their eyes, lead them around to something pretty, then say click and let them look. We played this at the pub in town to some very odd looks. I am now experimenting with posting right from my phone. Expect pretty things and some odd type-os.
Sent from my iPhone

That’s good, that’s bad

Tuesday, October 16th, 2007

When I was little and my dad called me and my brother little duckies (the entire childhood period that is after diapers are done but before the teens set in) he would play a little game with us when ever we complained. After hearing that our toe was sore, a toy broke or Jimmy Carter usurped our nighttime tv show, he would intone “Thats Bad!” Then we were to state something else and he would proclaim “Thats good!” To us it didn’t really seem that he determined rightly the goodness or badness of the situation, he just declared the opposite of whatever he said last. Sometimes the bad good determination was more in line with what we thought, others it was based on some mathematical pattern mysterious to our elementary school brains. Either way it was loud and with the kind of voice projection that would be entirely embarrassing if in public, but if in the living room in pajamas while jumping around was a sort of treat to see how long we could draw it out.

“I brought home two IMS math cards from school today.”

“That’s good!”

“I got second place in wrestling and beat all the boys.”

“That’s bad!”

“no dad, that’s not bad that’s good”

He would just keep going at unpredictable patterns. In ways this was done to tease us. This is a man who would intentionally touch the cats tongue during a yawn; something that obviously annoyed her to no end. Playing That’s-good-That’s-bad is an easy extension of that. Simultaneously I think that there were real lessons in his intent. Yes to calmly ignore someone intent on making you nuts is a good lesson but also that you just can’t read life as you first think it, or you may be proven wrong later.

I have been reading pronoia. My last few posts have been inspired by concepts in the book. Page 73 is dedicated to the following taoist story:

This farmer had only one horse, and one day the horse ran away. The neighbors came to condole over his terrible loss. The farmer said, “What makes you think it is so terrible?”

A month later, the horse came home–this time bringing with her two beautiful wild horses. The neighbors became excited at the farmer’s good fortune. Such lovely strong horses! The farmer said, “What makes you think this is good fortune?”

The farmer’s son was thrown from one of the wild horses and broke his leg. All the neighbors were very distressed. Such bad luck! The farmer said, “What makes you think it is bad?”

A war came, and every able-bodied man was conscripted and sent into battle. Only the farmer’s son, because he had a broken leg, remained. The neighbors congratulated the farmer. “What makes you think this is good?” said the farmer.

I liked this story so I used it for a formatting exercise for my web design class. Since then I have been thinking about what it takes to be able to ride the goods and bads of life with the same enthusiasm. I would like to take on problems with the same zeal as fortune, after all isn’t that what is the catalyst for more personal growth. I would like to be able to see the “That’s-good-That’s-bad” in equal measure to every pass the universe tosses at me. But I can not see that the speeding ticket that will cost me $180 saved me from a crash that would end my life. I can’t know that the slow person in line in front of me actually kept me from meeting a caustic psychic vampire of a person, that I would be unstoppable attracted too, and who would slowly eat my savings, retirement funds and eventually steal my new phone.

As I grew I became more rebellious with my father. I could say that I saw more clearly his faults, but the reality is that I knew them intimately even at six, probably before. I think that as I grew up I became angrier at him for them, maybe this paralleled when I started realizing what “parent” in our society was supposed to be, and was miffed at the reality. In my rallies and stubborn mental wars I remember a particular one where he was defending faith in the church, and specifically a catholic variety church. He proposed adherence to all things traditional even in light of their recent and long ago failures. He called this faith, and used that word as if it explained everything. I could not, would not swallow it. In a house with a mouse in a box on a fox. There was just no way, ever, I was buying faith over what I saw, what could be proven. I was the kind of girl who was very mathematical. I could explain to him why you can’t divide by zero by the age of 12 and he, could not explain faith. To me then, it all must have been a cop out if it can’t be proven.

Now my brother and I are no little duckies I can assure you. He is a more moderately statured Larry Bird look-a-like with a second wife, three kids and a parvo surviving shelter dog. I am pushing forty and use a regime of yoga, hiking and dancing to avoid that duck like figure. After the time and meditation on the subject in a different albeit new-agey light, I can totally appreciate the concept of faith. Faith can be knowing that you can not judge “That’s-good-thats-bad.” Both of those things intertwine in a tangled mess of your current reality, to make your future reality and that the world is giving you everything you need. If you pay the right attention, every fantastic thing has stemmed from something you rued at first and every bad fortune is likely the result of something celebrated. Faith can be smiling at everything that happens to you, or at least not ripping your hair out over it.

So I am starting to grok faith a little bit. My version has a pronoia disco ball vest instead of vestments and feels divine.


Wednesday, October 10th, 2007

My last post on Columbus Day got me thinking about the books that have been my eye openers. Rebekah turned me on to A People’s History of the United States. This is where I realized that everything in my text books was slanted to make me a mindless drone. Well no problem but um…ah, no flippin thanks to dronehood for me.

Someone once asked me if I could have everyone read a book what would it be, well for everyone in the USA here it is. For the whole world I will have to rethink…any suggestions?

So from there I read a few other totally fascinating books that spanned a few subjects and could be put in the eye opener category. Lies My Teacher Told Me, The Cheating Culture and Freakonomics.

PronoiaFor another dose of inspiration in combat to the smart cynicism you will imbibe from the above, I can enthusiastically recommend Pronoia Theresa gave me this book to read which is turning into an over the top, boredom jamming, glee creating inspiration. In this book the author recommends that we print up business cards with the title “Beautifier” Thinking even bigger Theresa came up with a bunch of fabulous titles for herself. With that inspiration I came up with ten titles, coincidentally, the exact number to an avery business card sheet. Here they are:
artsy computer geek
pop culture dropout
happiness addict
asspole remover
Robin Hood wannabe
World Peace Believer
Queen of Lala Land
mushroom sleuth
dance junkie
telemarketer torturer

Feel free to call on me for any of my occupations. Most services are free. I will also make titles for you if you like, just drop me a line.