P o c k e t CT

According to my calendar today is Public Sleeping Day. I made calendars for gifts and added as many holidays as I could find. Not the common ones like birthdays or the day-off work holidays, but great gems like “International Talk Like a Pirate Day” (September) and “Sneak Zucchini on to your Neighbor’s Porch Night” (August, of course.) If the month was a little dull holiday wise, I even made up a few. This one however, I got from the most reliable of sources – a web search for holidays. Public Sleeping Day occurs every year on February 28th. More info here.

Happy cat nap to anyone who will partake. I hope you have a better time than my last try to catch forty winks outside of home. I was trying to sleep in the Newark airport after taking a red eye back from San Jose. I was tucked off to the side of the gate, in between a wall and a window, dozing nicely. Then I had this odd feeling come over me that made me open my eyes. Three inches from my face was a toddler. Three inches from my face makes a tot gigantic. Before I knew it was a harmless child I screamed, she cried. I felt bad.

I noticed two things that are sure signs of the end of winter, pussy willows and sap buckets. Next up is snow drops, seed catalogs and the smell of the ground. Hurah!

Thanks to the glowing review from Jurgen Nation I experimented with Google Reader yesterday. I had really wanted a window pane layout and I had already tried two others. I was hesitant to spend the time setting up to be disappointed again. Lucky for me, it imported the OPML files almost without a hitch. So there I had the growing list in the side bar folder click on it to expand layout, yawn. Then I noticed that you can have it just show only unread posts, toggle with a keystoke (love keystrokes) to full screen, the postings shows any media it contains, and you can move between postings with keys. To add to the total cool, as you can see on the left, I can share individual posts that I like. Can’t beat it. I am a proselytizing convert.

I was retelling the glory days of telemarketer calls to JoeTAH* the other day and starting thinking back to how it all began. I had just bought my first house which unbeknownst to me also equaled having your new phone number sold on about 8,435 lists. Everybody knew deep in their heart that what I needed was new windows, clean carpets, pest removal, landscaping and to feel gratified by donating to the policeman’s second cousin fund. To the tune of at least three calls per evening with a record of eleven, if I recall correctly. Something had to be done to make this less annoying.
At the same time my boyfriend landed this lovely brain tease math problem on me. I’m a total dork; love math. This one threw me though; you have to approach it a little differently to figure it out. It took me hours. Really like two hours and a bunch of paper. I had gotten the answer pretty quickly but couldn’t say why it was correct. I loved it, and will share it with you.

At McDonald’s you can buy Chicken McNuggets in packs of 6, 9 or 20. So you can also buy 15 by purchasing a 6 and a 9 pack, or 12: 6+6, or 21: 6+6+9, but you can’t buy 23. Here is the puzzle – what it the largest number of McNuggets you can’t buy.
Here is what I did to share the joy, I started every telemarketing conversation with ok I will buy whatever you are selling (this they loved to hear) if you answer one question, and that was the question (then their glee kind of fell over).
The resulting conversations were a table turning thing of beauty. Once I felt my dinner preparation was to be interrupted by having to hang up on someone and then feeling rude. Now I took control of the conversation in a cheeky way. I started liking the calls. By the time I bought my next house I was branching off of the fried chicken product quiz and improving. Rebekah got into it too and we would have to take turns taking the calls. I would try to convince them I went to their high school, she would pretend to be in the witness protection program and they had blown her cover.
Now something everyone loathes is something I adore. Huray
* JoeTAH = Joe the Awesome Housemate. Coming soon a special blog entry ennumerating why he gets this nickname and truncating it to JTAH

The other night I was at a Planning Board meeting and a telemarketer called. This wasn’t a live person but a recording. Jenny answered the phone, screwed up her face when she heard and said “It’s one of those electronic things.”

I was so torn. I want to take the call, but we are supposed to be meeting. Well the Chair had to go back to her house to get our laptop so I begged please let me take it. We took it on speaker phone and pressed 1

Poor Telemarketer Woman: Hello, I understand you are interested in our home mortgage refinancing products

PocketCT: Hello, I need to let you know that you have joined our public meeting for the Planning Board, are on speaker phone. I would like to ask which of our agenda items you have called to contribute your voice in.

PTM: huh?

Jenny: Are you interested in commenting on our common driveway bylaw or forest conservation project

PTM: Aren’t any of you interested in a home mortgage?

PCT: No, but you called our meeting

PTM: it is an electronic dialer I have no control over who it calls.

Jenny: Maybe we should let you know that this is a town office you rang in case you want to take it off your list here is the number

Would have been so much more fun if I got this at home. I could ask for a $101.42 mortgage, or spend eons of time not understanding points or interest. Does anyone know how to get off the Do Not Call List. And can anyone recommend equipment to record phone conversations. If I get it all together I can podcast all the fun.

Donna turns forty today and has decided that as sixty is for Croning, this day will commence the Hag phase. Today is her Hagging Day. She is coining the word and living the life. Good for her Hurah!

So far from what I gather this gives her and extended right to tell people off, the right to make sweeping changes in her life unapologetically, and the right become whatever she wants without having to explain it to anyone, including herself.

Knowing Donna the definition for this phase will be a malleable item which can be used to chalk up anything from a little tardiness to driving under the speed limit on purpose because there is a certain grey truck behind her. I personally, can’t wait to see what the new hag phase Donna will bring to the world. I hope it includes gracing the world with more of her fantastic paintings. I’m sure that when she tells people to f**k off it will exude her wonderful charm and they will come back for more.

Happy Birthday Donna

Please feel free to add your own greetings to Donna in the comments. I will make sure she sees them.