A few months ago Christopher and I were walking behind amethyst brook in Amherst and came along a sand pit with a dirt bike zooming around. The rider appeared to be trying to make as much noise as possible from the thing as well as zipping by at high speed right over where I was standing moments ago. Had I not scurried completely off the path I would have been mud splashed. What is the point of these things, to waste fuel? to make noise? to make me crazy with the sound of it? Somehow moments before this we were chatting about an improv everywhere prank. I don’t remember which, it could have been the Best Game Ever or the Subway Twins Thing. I was thinking that although I love the ideas that they come up with they really short change rural environments, always in cities. I think between those two things happening Christopher got the idea to stage a protest in my town for something that would be personally horrible – a ATV and dirt bike speedway. We had schemes of actors chained to bulldozers, press coverage, an ATV parade. April first came up fast and we did the part of the plans that could be down with a wee budget and little time.
On Tuesday night, after yoga teacher training, Adam and I zipped around town staple gunning 100 posters to phone poles. The first couple up were great fun, shutting off the headlights, trying not to laugh too loud. The 5th – 100th kinda lost it’s charm but we were finished in about an hour. Last thing was to include the big rally poster on the library and store. Well the library only had glass for posters and that seemed like a bad mix with a staple gun so the store got two of them.
The next day I didn’t hear anything about it. Adam went to the store in the morning and saw someone come in and ask “what’s this thing about the speedway?” and Donna promptly said “Christine Texiera, April Fool.” That was sort of a let down so I called Donna as soon as I got to cell range and told her I was at the Vermont border and that I stayed with Christopher the night before. Perfect alibi, bootie in Vermont. Then I didn’t hear anything more – much to my disappointment.
On Thursday though Theresa and I went to the pub where I tried to use my alibi even in the face of being spotted by Lorraine putting the posters up at the store. Rebekah made be swear not to cop to it so I kept on with things like “Oh I wish I had done it,” “I’ll take the credit for it,” and “Who else could have done it.” The last one was a fun discussion that had options like my neighbor Jess or another woman who writes the beer reviews for the pub. I suggested Robert Heller if it were all text but for the pictures it would have been plausible. Patti said she was going to email the town list and have a vote for whodunnit. I laughed all the way home.
Last night was Naked Ladies and Donna would be there. She said, “Isn’t it awful what they are planning for the common we should have a protest” and for a moment I was excited to the rejuvenation of the bulldozer idea. I tried to deny it, but Donna tricked me by saying “Lorraine saw you and your boyfriend laughing and putting the posters up at the store” before I realized what was out of my mouth I said “not my boyfriend” which is as good as saying “oh yeah it was me alright.” Ok well I am just not that good of a liar.
It was a good April Fools. Adam had a fabulous prank about Monsanto making pine trees that are capable of maple sap and Christopher wrote a press release that the Guiding Star Grange sold its naming rights to Real Pickles, naturally fermented. Improv Everywhere totally sucked me in with the post for Best Funeral Ever; which I showed my boss in disgust and couldn’t even watch the video I was so appalled.
You can click to embiggen the poster if you want to!