P o c k e t CT

This happened a little while ago but I retold the story yesterday and thought to share it here.

There are a lot of reasons people do yoga. I started because I found it less boring than running on the machines at the gym. I joined Gold’s Gym after my 52 year old sister had a big heart attack. Signing on in a panic about cardiovascular health. But the elliptical was dull business even with a book on tape plugged into my ears and beefalos who couldn’t put their arms down for comic views. I started yoga. There are a few things that hooked me in, that combination of strength and a grace to the poses and the poses that feel like you are learning to do playful tricks with your body, something I have enjoyed since a kid. So I kept at it for the joy of doing it. After my mom died I started a daily practice and it was then I realized that yoga had another interesting effect.

I was cooking and spilled water on the ceramic top electric stove. I took a cloth to sop it up. I was busy with something so I stuck a pan on top to tamp it down in stead of wiping it up. I’ll bet you can see what is coming. Soon there was something which needed a burner turned on and of course the wrong burner was turned to high and I went on chopping.

In a short time I noticed smoke and realized from the glowing orange under the towel that this wasn’t good. Upon lifting the pan the smoking cotton piece alit. At this point I looked at the mess and thought hmmm what to do and turn on the pullout spray faucet in the direction of the flames. It didn’t quite reach to do it quickly enough and made enough smoke now to set off the detector. Lots of noise and I am still calmly thinking oh this isn’t working as well as I would like. Christopher I think at this point was a little frustrated with me. Thankfully he went in high gear and pulling out tongs to put the smoking towel into the pan, douse it good and bring the now pillared with smoke kettle to the deck.

Later I was astounded with the calm through all of this where a few years ago I would have been panicky but also quicker on the draw to do something! I think this change in my brains reactions, this placid detachment is likely all due to yoga. It is really helpful when someone at work is about to pop a cork about their computer but I’d better be much more careful in the kitchen.

Make popcorn on the stove or with an air popper if you are one of those people. By the way did you know that microwave popcorn isn’t any different? and you can use any paper bag? I have found the bags from Chinese food are best because they are thicker.

Topping
Melt more butter than necessary
add 1 tsp zatar*
add 1/2 tsp garlic salt
add a hand full of sesame seeds
more salt

pour over hot popcorn
add a handfull of brewers (nutritional) yeast

awesome.

*zatar is a combo of thyme sumac salt and sesame seeds. It is kind of hard to find but you can order it. I got mine here, which had good product but an annoying shipping charge structure. Really they are trying to gaff people to ship it the next business day which in my opinion they should regardless.

Enjoy

Recently there was a status running around facebook that said “No one should die because they don’t have healthcare. No one should go broke because they get sick. If you agree post this as your status for the rest of the day” I saw a gazillion of them. Some with really good variations like “no one should be stuck in a job because of a pre-existing condition.” I thought to start a new trend with people speaking in their own words their sentiments on the totally pathetic state of our health care system. Mine was:

Christine Texiera’s writing her own health care related status. (Feel free to copy or make your own) Christine thinks it is pathetic that the US has the most spending per person in the world and ranks 37th for health care. Why do people want to fight tooth and nail not to change a system that is both expensive and sucky?

This came right around the time I heard the following true story. My dear friends sister, who I will refer to as MTF went to the doctor’s office about four years ago with a painful alarming issue with her goods. The doc promptly diagnosed her with herpes, sent her away with a prescription, and ordered a blood test to confirm. MTF was as you can imagine completely upset with this finding. Unlike lots of people though, she did what she was supposed to. Through tears, embarrassment she went back through her (imo meager) sexual history to notify past partners. They all said pretty much – hmmm wasn’t me, I don’t have herpes. She would speculate who was lying and who maybe just didn’t know and wouldn’t face it. This whole time she is facing her new reality of living with the not dangerous but very stigma’ed virus. She would date, have hopes and then have “that” conversation with her intended lover. Hopes dashed repeatedly, she moved on to dating only from a herpes positive website. The smaller pool of choices made for some adjustments in standards. But life went on in sort of the usual way.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago when that status was making the run around. Having gone to a certain point in a relationship the conversations about possible sexual relations lead to a trip to the doctors for a std screening. MTF tells the doc (a new one since the other is on leave) not to bother with the herpes test since she already knows that she is positive. Looking through the chart the doc asked what makes her think she has herpes, and why had she taken this medication (for herpes.) She tells him of the diagnosis and he says no. Then shows her that the test results were in fact negative. As in negative four years ago and no one told her. No one systematically gave her the results because they were negative. No one let her know that she could live her life without confessing to every lover potential and invalid health risks which were contingent on being intimate with her. No one let her know that she didn’t have to edit her personal life to only people with positive test results. People that actually turned out to be the health risk to her. Un.fucking.believable.
MTF called a lawyer. Really who can blame her? I am normally quite anti lawsuit, but this is totally pathetic. She was awaiting test results to see if her edited lifestyle gave her the std she didn’t actually have.

I can’t help but think THIS is the healthcare system we pay more than any other country in the world for. This instance isn’t a single alone instance, nor is it commonplace, but it happened. When my dear friend told me of this I told her that for the amount that we spend on tests (whether the insurance pays for them or not) we really should see the results, and for that matter the cost.

The other thing that generally bugs me about health insurance is that we have become completely unaware of the cost. How much was my emergency room visit. Most people would say the copay amount. Unlike with car insurance where you see how much the crash was and what you pay for car repairs. I’m not thinking people should individually pay more but when you see the price tag you hold it to a certain quality standard. Also when you see how much it costs to get stitches in an emergency room there is more likely to develop another lower cost kind of quick care facility for breaks and slices. It is all because it is a job related benefit that we don’t pay much attention to unless we don’t have it. Nuts if you ask me. Why is having your stitches from opening a wine bottle that cracked completely paid for because you have a job? I have heard that it came about because the government was trying to curb inflation and didn’t want companies to give people raises to they concocted this to compete for employees. Wild. Now we have the most expensive system that is half way down the list for quality by country. Nuts.

There is lots of room for improvement in out health care system. I hope the crazies don’t squash every possible betterment because it doesn’t match their ideal. It will be nice to see things get better.

Yesterday I did a sort of audition class to end yoga teacher training. I was nervous at the beginning so my voice was shaking and it took all the fun out of it. That chilled out after a bit and I had a really good time for the last two thirds. I had a dream a few days ago that I was doing this class and I was helping someone in a pose and concentrating on them, when I looked up again everyone was having a feast and had given up on me. Thankfully, this did not happen Sunday.

At the end I had some good feedback and should be able to include the suggestions in my next class and a good thing since I am subbing on Thursday.

So I’m all done this formal part of teacher training and I’m off to the next part which is on my own and consisting of: teaching, going to a lot of different classes, and writing a bunch of classes that will contain the full spectrum of poses that I am aware of. Wheee time to celebrate and the best way for you to do that is come to a class of mine. If you are far you can just try it out on your own or if it is meaningless to you take my word it is fun.

Here is the class I taught Sunday in my shorthand
Uttanasana – 3 moon – padagusthanana
3 B – padagusthanana (each leg balance) with yogi toe lock
2 C – 2 more adding rev crescent flow from rev. crescent/ext side angle (3-5ish) hold ext side angle
Padahastasana
Straight arm shoulder opener
Prasarita Padonttanasana – open to light samokasana
Ext side angle with bind – bound triangle – Bird of paradise or baddha ardha chandrasana
Utkatasana -twist – parvrtta Parsvokonasana
purvotanasana
Navasana – talasana 2x
Prasarita pasottansana – crow
A2K with twist (left on top first) – out to side – to front and fold (pay attention to if you can put upper arm on top foot)
Hummingbird (if arm is comfortably to knee in twist) or side crow
Parvritta janu sirasana – janu sirasana
Side plank (with toe hold if you skip the next one)
parvrtti traing muhka ekapada pachimottanasana
Side Plank with toe hold
Prasarita padottanasana – samokasana – Upavista Konasana (twist – fold)
Sleeping Vishnu
Shala/danu/arms up wall
Handstand – forearm stand
Ninja – hanuman
Bridge/wheel
Jathara Parivartanasana
Superhero fold on wall if there is time or pachimotanasana
Shoulder stand – plow – Karnapdasana
Fish
sivasana

A few months ago Christopher and I were walking behind amethyst brook in Amherst and came along a sand pit with a dirt bike zooming around. The rider appeared to be trying to make as much noise as possible from the thing as well as zipping by at high speed right over where I was standing moments ago. Had I not scurried completely off the path I would have been mud splashed. What is the point of these things, to waste fuel? to make noise? to make me crazy with the sound of it? Somehow moments before this we were chatting about an improv everywhere prank. I don’t remember which, it could have been the Best Game Ever or the Subway Twins Thing. I was thinking that although I love the ideas that they come up with they really short change rural environments, always in cities. I think between those two things happening Christopher got the idea to stage a protest in my town for something that would be personally horrible – a ATV and dirt bike speedway. We had schemes of actors chained to bulldozers, press coverage, an ATV parade. April first came up fast and we did the part of the plans that could be down with a wee budget and little time.

On Tuesday night, after yoga teacher training, Adam and I zipped around town staple gunning 100 posters to phone poles. The first couple up were great fun, shutting off the headlights, trying not to laugh too loud. The 5th – 100th kinda lost it’s charm but we were finished in about an hour. Last thing was to include the big rally poster on the library and store. Well the library only had glass for posters and that seemed like a bad mix with a staple gun so the store got two of them.

The next day I didn’t hear anything about it. Adam went to the store in the morning and saw someone come in and ask “what’s this thing about the speedway?” and Donna promptly said “Christine Texiera, April Fool.” That was sort of a let down so I called Donna as soon as I got to cell range and told her I was at the Vermont border and that I stayed with Christopher the night before. Perfect alibi, bootie in Vermont. Then I didn’t hear anything more – much to my disappointment.

On Thursday though Theresa and I went to the pub where I tried to use my alibi even in the face of being spotted by Lorraine putting the posters up at the store. Rebekah made be swear not to cop to it so I kept on with things like “Oh I wish I had done it,” “I’ll take the credit for it,” and “Who else could have done it.” The last one was a fun discussion that had options like my neighbor Jess or another woman who writes the beer reviews for the pub. I suggested Robert Heller if it were all text but for the pictures it would have been plausible. Patti said she was going to email the town list and have a vote for whodunnit. I laughed all the way home.

Last night was Naked Ladies and Donna would be there. She said, “Isn’t it awful what they are planning for the common we should have a protest” and for a moment I was excited to the rejuvenation of the bulldozer idea. I tried to deny it, but Donna tricked me by saying “Lorraine saw you and your boyfriend laughing and putting the posters up at the store” before I realized what was out of my mouth I said “not my boyfriend” which is as good as saying “oh yeah it was me alright.” Ok well I am just not that good of a liar.

It was a good April Fools. Adam had a fabulous prank about Monsanto making pine trees that are capable of maple sap and Christopher wrote a press release that the Guiding Star Grange sold its naming rights to Real Pickles, naturally fermented. Improv Everywhere totally sucked me in with the post for Best Funeral Ever; which I showed my boss in disgust and couldn’t even watch the video I was so appalled.

You can click to embiggen the poster if you want to!